Insomnia
by petrichorister
Summary: As the city of Whiterun sleeps, Ria searches for a friend. From the Skyrim Kink Meme.


**AN:** From the SKM (originally titled "Confessions and Comfort"). OP requested Ria comforting the Dragonborn after finding them in a distressed state, and, well, it's no secret how much I love Ria. I've revised it a bit (and changed the title, because I just didn't like it very much). Oslaine is my DB from "Heaven and Home Again" and "Moments and Mead Halls".

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><p>Ria wasn't sure what had woken her up.<p>

It might have been the door to the whelps' room creaking, or the quiet patter of feet long after she'd gone to bed (and she had been the last, or so she thought). Or, perhaps, it had been the muffled sob that had sounded not long after that, which had been followed by the door to the stairwell being slammed shut.

At any rate, she was now sitting up in bed, slightly confused and rather more awake than she usually was at this hour. She glanced around the room briefly, taking a quick look at who might have made the noise.

Njada slept soundly in the bed right across from her own, sprawled out and snoring lightly. The woman was a heavy sleeper, and one that didn't like to be woken at that (which, fortunately, Ria had not found out the hard way, as Athis had once demonstrated it for her and received a black eye for all his trouble).

In the farthest corner, Athis was stirring just slightly in his bed. Perhaps he'd heard something, too, but, as he pulled his pillow over his head, Ria supposed he wasn't quite keen on talking right now.

As always, Torvar seemed undisturbed, peaceful in his ale-induced slumber. One arm hung off the edge of his bed, and the other lay across his body, fingers scratching at his stomach occasionally as he smiled at some pleasant dream.

Which left one.

The newest Companion was nowhere to be seen, Ria realized as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Oslaine, the one who'd arrived a few short weeks before and had only just been on her trial last week, was missing. Not that the elf spent much time around Jorrvaskr, anyways; she always seemed to be away on some mission or other from the Jarl himself.

Ria was careful not to make any extra noise as she snuck away from the room. Whatever this was, it probably wasn't any of her business anyways, but her curiosity was beginning to get the better of her, and it wasn't as though she could fall back asleep easily, anyways.

The steps creaked just slightly as Ria climbed them. When she reached the top, she noted the mead hall was empty, and the door to the back lawn was cracked open, just enough to let in a sliver of moonlight.

She was nearly to the door when a loud _clang!_ echoed through the hall.

Ria startled at the noise of metal on metal. Once she shook the surprise from her head, she snuck quietly to the door. The clashes and clangs from outside grew louder with each step, and she wondered if she should just go back down to bed.

_It really isn't any of your business._

Yet somehow, Ria found herself drawing ever closer to the door, until she was able to push it open the rest of the way and watch.

In the moonlight stood the newest Companion. Perhaps _stood_ was the wrong word. She _swayed_, and she _teetered_, and she _bent_ as she swung her warhammer around. Oslaine didn't seem to be paying much attention to her technique, simply throwing the weapon back and forth and grunting and heaving all the while. The hammer hit the training dummy, the wall, the ground, _everything_.

That couldn't be good, could it? In training, Vilkas had always stressed technique ("your sword's no good if you throw out your shoulder on a dummy," he said once), and Ria was sure Oslaine, fighter that she was, knew that.

And those sobs….

"Oslaine?" she called out, cautiously and quietly. The Bosmer paused in her swinging, and, for a moment, all Ria could hear was the other woman's shallow panting. "Is that… are you alright?"

The woman didn't respond for a moment, immobile but for the slight heaving of her chest. When she did respond, her voice was thick. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?" Ria folded her arms against the cool night air as she ventured further onto the patio. "It's just… people who are fine usually don't try to hammer a hole in the ground in the middle of the night, is all."

_You should have stayed in bed._

Oslaine was frozen, almost too still to be convincing. She didn't even look like she was _breathing_ until she spoke. "I'll be alright. Just stressed." She turned around to give Ria a faint smile before readying her warhammer once again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Oh."

Ria shifted a bit, but she couldn't quite bring herself to leave. Even as Oslaine turned away and went back to her task, Ria could only stand and watch in sympathy.

_Go back downstairs._

She shushed the voice in the back of her head. She and Oslaine were friends, weren't they? More than that, they were truly shield-siblings now, and shield-siblings looked out for one another.

"You'll hurt yourself if you keep swinging like that." However soft her words might have been, they still made Oslaine pause again. "It'll throw out your shoulder, or… well, something like that."

The elf sighed. "Who needs shoulders, anyway?" she mumbled.

"You do, if you want Skjor to give you better jobs." Ria drew closer, just enough to let her friend know she wasn't about to leave anytime soon. "C'mon. Put the hammer down. You need sleep."

"I don't."

"You do!" Her voice was quiet, or at least she tried to keep it that way. She reached out a hand to touch Oslaine's shoulder, and the elf flinched. "Oslaine, look at me. Please."

Slowly, Oslaine turned. She seemed reluctant, and for a moment Ria worried that she'd overstepped a boundary. That would be just her luck, wouldn't it be? If she had, Oslaine might still go to sleep now, or leave, but it wouldn't help her solve the problem. She might simply be quieter the_next_ time she snuck out in the night.

But, still, Oslaine faced her, bit by cautious bit. The warhammer dropped to the ground with a crash, echoing against the stone walls. Ria refused to flinch at the noise, lest Oslaine simply walk away right then. She was resolute as the elf finally met her eyes.

And then the tears broke forth.

Oslaine let out a loud sob as the wetness spilled down her face. Whatever it was she'd been channeling into the warhammer was now pouring out of her, and, for just a moment, Ria was at a loss for what to do. Even as the Bosmer dropped to the ground, Ria stood awkwardly. Surely there was_something_ she could do.

If nothing else, she could offer comfort, she supposed. Everyone needed a chance to vent their feelings, didn't they? And they needed to feel safe. She could do that much.

"Can I hug you?" Ria asked as she crouched next to her friend. "Is that alright?"

Eventually, Oslaine managed a shaky nod. It was hard to tell, between the heaving of her shoulders and the the trembling of her head, but it was enough, and Ria took the cue quickly. She gathered her friend up in her arms, a pang of sympathy coming through her as the elf tensed and relaxed at the contact.

"Shh," Ria murmured as Oslaine shook in her arms. She sat carefully with her back against the stone walls, so that Oslaine could take as much or as little room as she needed. "It'll be okay. Let it out."

For a few minutes, the elf didn't say a thing. She simply shook and sobbed and grasped her hands at Ria's shirt, and Ria simply held her tight.

"It's silly," Oslaine choked out. "I shouldn't be… you don't have to put up with this."

Ria ran her hands over her friend's hair soothingly as she pulled her closer still. "Don't worry about it. We're shield-sisters, remember?"

"But you don't! It's not battle. I should be able to-"

"You can't always, and that's okay." The Bosmer let out another little sob against Ria's chest. "Besides, it's almost a battle, in a way. You've got your own demons to fight, and I'll have your back when you need to fight them."

Through all her tears, Oslaine let out a laugh. "Thank you."

"Do you want to tell me what's happening?"

Oslaine tensed, and Ria almost regretted asking. "Maybe," the elf sniffed. "I don't know."

"It might help. Just, having someone to talk to can't hurt, can it?" Ria offered a smile when Oslaine looked up at her. "You don't have to, but I'm here if you want to."

Oslaine wiped the heel of her hand against her cheek, collecting her tears as they slowed down. Her breaths still came out choked and heavy, and Ria didn't dare press her further, lest she break this delicate recovery.

"Where do I even start?" The words were still muddled from her crying. "The dragons or-"

"Dragons?"

Ria couldn't help the word slipping out. Her hand flew to cover her mouth in an attempt to halt it, but it was too late. If there was to be any damage, it was already done. Oslaine blinked in surprise once, then twice, and Ria felt her heart stop in her chest.

And then the elf _snorted_.

Ria relaxed as Oslaine laughed away, even as tears remained on her cheeks. At least she'd lightened up, and for that Ria was glad. "Dragons it is, then," her friend said. "It's a good a place to start as any. You heard about Helgen?"

"Only what you told me. You said you escaped and that the city was destroyed, but other than that…" Ria trailed, unsure of how much she should really say. This was Oslaine's time to talk, and her time to listen.

"And I would have died along with Ulfric Stormcloak and Helgen would still be standing if a dragon hadn't shown up and blown the town to bits. I only made it out because some Imperial soldier grabbed me and helped me through the keep as it collapsed." Oslaine sniffled and wiped her cheeks again, which thankfully seemed to be drying. "I thought I was just lucky."

"Wouldn't normally call being attacked by a dragon _lucky_," Ria muttered, and Oslaine giggled just a bit. "But if it saved you, it can't be all bad. Luck's a funny thing."

"Well, it wasn't really luck. It was there for me."

Ria blinked. "Excuse me?" She bit her tongue the moment the words left her mouth.

Oslaine curled closer against Ria once again, and Ria hugged her tighter. "I've got some prophecy. Some stupid, silly Nord prophecy. And the world's gone to shit because of it. First I see the thing, and the Jarl goes nuts and his blasted _wizard_ sends me off to find some stupid stone that's heavier than _I_ am. I go get the thing and lose a friend in the process-"

"Who?"

"No one you'd know," Oslaine murmured as her tears picked up again.

"I know they were important to you," Ria said as she gave her friend a comforting squeeze. "That's enough for me."

Oslaine sniffed a bit before answering. "An elf. Another Bosmer, like me, from Riverwood. Faendal, was his name. I'd just… I'd helped him properly sort things out with his lover, who also said she needed someone to find this… this _claw_ from the barrow, and he wanted to join me in finding it for her. We found it, alright, and we got to the Dragonstone and-"

Her words broke off as a sob escaped her throat. "There was a draugr, and we were both tired, and I just couldn't get to him quickly enough. I killed the it, but my magic's never been good, and I couldn't heal Faendal. Camilla got the claw back and I got to tell her Faendal died on my watch."

"I'm so sorry," Ria said quietly as she hugged Oslaine closer. "Nobody should have to go through that." She smoothed down the elf's hair while she continued to cry. "Not even a warrior."

"If we hadn't gone looking for that damned Dragonstone, we could have grabbed the claw and left. We wouldn't have had to go that far, and he'd be alive." Her voice was muffled as Ria held her close and gently rocked her. "Damn dragons. Damn them all. I want nothing to do with them."

"You never have to go back to that barrow, if that's any comfort."

"But I'll have to go to others!" Oslaine took a deep breath as she tried to compose herself. "It's never going to be over. It's one thing after another. It's the Dragonstone, and then it's a dragon outside _Whiterun_, and they expect _me_ to stop it because I was at Helgen."

"But you helped, didn't you?" Ria tried to catch Oslaine's eyes and give her a smile. "You're a true warrior, and you're a good person, and you did what you needed to."

"Yes, but…" Oslaine huffed just a bit, and once again Ria bit her tongue. _Keep your mouth shut next time_. "Apparently, I was supposed to be there, too, because the thing practically dissolved into thin air and I got ill and some guard said something about the dragon's soul, and Balgruuf said something about the Greybeards calling to me."

Ria simply nodded this time, not trusting herself to say the right thing.

"And that… that… _stupid_ mountain. Covered in wolves and… and _frost trolls_." The Bosmer practically spat the words. "I'm amazed I made it up the thing alive. I'll go crazy, I swear, when I have to go back."

"You have to go back?"

Oslaine nodded. The tears had stopped, but her eyes were still red and her voice still caught on some words, and it nearly broke Ria's heart. "They called me 'Dragonborn' and sent me off to fetch some horn they couldn't be arsed to get themselves, and it wasn't even there! All there was was a note about finding some inn in Riverwood and that's it." Her frustration, at least, seemed to have surpassed her sadness. "I either need to go back up and tell them, or take my luck in Riverwood."

"You don't have to go alone, you know."

"But I do!" Oslaine whined in frustration. "If I take anyone with me, they die. Faendal died. I've nearly died-"

"And you wouldn't if you'd just take a shield-sibling." Ria let go of her friend for a moment, and the elf paused. "You know we're here for you, right? Me and Athis and Torvar and Njada-"

"Njada?"

"Oh, she's rough around the edges, but she likes you well enough. Give her time." Ria smiled, and she was glad to see that Oslaine smiled with her. "And the Circle all seem to like you. Especially Farkas."

"Gods, don't get me started on Farkas!" Oslaine buried her face against Ria's shoulder, and it seemed as though her mood picked up. Oh, thank the Divines.

"Why not? If you're going to tell me you're sweet on him, then I should tell you, everyone already-"

"Not that!" Ria's shoulder shook as Oslaine laughed against it. "It's just that he… when I went on my trial, he just… Oh, you know what happened, don't you?"

Ria didn't. "Did Farkas hurt you?" He didn't seem the type, but Ria swore, if he did, she'd-

"No! No, of course he didn't! It's just…" Whatever frustration and sadness Oslaine had seemed to give way to confusion. "He… _changed_."

"How?" Ria scrunched her nose and leaned back against the wall. "He's always been nice enough when I've gone on jobs with him."

Oslaine looked up in surprise. "You really don't know, do you?"

"What don't I know?"

The elf simply shook her head and let out a quiet laugh. "It's not really my confession to tell. You'll know someday."

"As long as you're okay with that. Are you?" Ria's eyes flickered over Oslaine's face, looking for a clue to what she'd been thinking of.

"I am." Oslaine's smile was small but it seemed sincere. "Thank you, Ria. For listening."

"Any time." Ria relaxed as Oslaine moved out of her arms. "If you need anyone to follow you to Riverwood-"

"You'll be the first one I ask."

Ria could only smile as she stood and offered Oslaine a hand up. "You do still need sleep, you know."

"I know."

For all that her cheeks were red and her eyes puffy, Oslaine seemed calm. Her breathing had slowed, her body had relaxed, and she took Ria's hand with a gracious smile.

They walked back down to the whelps' room in a comfortable silence. No more sobbing, no more clash of metal on stone. Nothing but the soft steps of the warriors' feet as they walked back through the mead hall and down the steps to get rest before dawn rose on the city and their duties as Companions called them back.


End file.
